On the Complexity of Giving Advice

Recently ate at: Bread Garden (brioche and scone - breakfast); Barney's Gourmet Burgers (lunch); Eat A Pita (greek - had falafel - dinner)

Yesterday I was attempting to give advice to my friend Ojan as he was debating between two jobs offers. It was an interesting situation. One part of my brain that was trained to be an Academic Advisor. The whole point of this is to give advice by sharing one's own knowledge, experiences and lessons. But the other part of my brain was trained to be a Peer Advisor. This is usually for relationship issues (not just romantic ones). As a peer advisor, one is supposed to be a blank slate: never give advice and rarely even offer anything new to the conversation. The point is that you are not them and you therefore aren't qualified to make decisions for them. Just repeat and rephrase what the person already said. (Hearing what you're saying said back to you helps a lot more than you'd think.) Keep prompting them to continue and just let them talk through their issues.

It was a careful line I was trying to walk. But I think I helped Ojan make and feel comfortable with his decision.